Leaving for Hanoi...........

Its Tuesday night and Emma Duong is asleep. Dancing Queen is being played in the bar and I must be right below the bar - its crystal clear.

Emma Duong is going to spend the rest of the trip going to everyone but me and I am trying to accept it and be thankful for the things that are going well.. If it is just the two of us she is in my arms and happy. Loves to sing while we are walking around. Since we cannot speak I decided to sing with her and having no imagination started singing Happy Birthday. Within a day she was singing the whole tune - don't know what words she is using but it cracked me up when I recognized what she was singing.

She had a blast today. Our taxi driver took us to his home to pick up his kids (a bit nervous here) and then to an amusement park (Vietnamese style and very different). After she warmed up to the kids she loved it and just chatted away. She hasn't been around people speaking Vietnamese in almost a week and this must have felt good to her.. She was holding hands with the taxi driver and all of his kids - she stayed clear of me...

Tonight our whole group went out to eat with the agency's staff in HCMC.. Great food. Probably the best since I have been here (well, Pizza Hut is good too). Ditto, she stayed clear of me.

I have made one huge mistake...I have not fed her enough. From day one she has said no to white rice, fried rice, noodles. She has pretty much existed on fruit, chips and bread. She is so thin I thought she just did not eat. Well today at the amusement park, with the Vietnamese family, we at family style rice and seafood and chicken. She put the food away. When we got home and after a short swim (jump in with her clinging on, walk around a couple times in the shallow end and she wants out) we came up to the room and she started crying. She had just eaten a huge lunch so I thought she could not be hungry. Made her stay in the room for an hour, then we ran some errands and coming into the hotel she started tearing up again. I went to the front desk and asked them what she wanted - she was hungry!!!!! Was given direction to a vietnamese style restaurant and she ate. I wonder if any other crying could have been avoided if I had just fed her???? I know the vietnamese word for hungry now and I am trying to teach her hungry.

Our paperwork seems to be just fine and we will be picking up our visas Friday afternoon. I know the flight is going to be long and interesting with Emma Duong but I am so ready to come home...

Passport and airline tickets......

Monday we accomplished alot!! Emma Duong has a passport and I have round trip tickets to Hanoi. Right now we have an appointment in Hanoi on Thursday which means we can pick up the visas on Friday and come home! Emma and I have to come back to Ho Chi Minh on Friday to catch a six am flight on Saturday. All of this travel is going to be interesting to say the least. She is hanging in there so far...hoping she is up for a full day of travel. Minh will be on our flight Friday night so hopefully he can explain to her what to expect.

Tuesday our cab driver is taking us to a new park with his children.

I am ready to come home......

"Uncle take me home".........

Sunday morning, my first day on my own with Emma Duong (my brother who was so nice to travel here for the first part of my trip has a family and work to get home to) and it started out about the same. Arms folded and crying first thing in the morning. Went up to breakfast where she actually did eat some fruit and bread. Met our cab driver from last night at eight am to go back to the zoo, I think routine days are important right now... She hopped into the cab and zipped out "Uncle take me home"!!! Very sad but you gotta laugh. This cab driver is my hero. He is pretty good with english and understands her situation. He told her she was not going home, she was going to the park and she was a lucky lucky little girl. He met us after we were done at the zoo and is going to be our taxi for the rest of our stay in Ho Chi Minh City. Tomorrow he is picking us up at eight and taking us to a different park - yea, I really cannot look at these animals one more day without causing problems.

Emma was bold at the zoo today. She got on three rides and also played in a playground. Some things just tear your heart out - she stumbles quite a bit in her shoes (which do fit by the way) on the playground equipment. I just don't think she has ever been on anything like what she was today. Ladders were a bit tough, she can do them just very unsure. Each ride she picked out she never smiled. Stone faced and hanging on riding right along with the 3 year olds who were squealing. I know she liked it because when she got off she was quite excited.

After the zoo, our taxi driver met us and she ran to his car when she saw him....getting used to being driven around. Back to the room to rest but it ended up in tears. Tried to let her cry herself to sleep but she never did. So, we got up and went shopping and to KFC. Doesn't like anything at KFC.... Bought two new pairs of shoes and sat with the ladies who sold them to us for awhile and let them talk to her. Everyone is so curious and they all ask alot of questions. Emma will not answer anyone or if she does it is very softly (well, except for the Uncle take me home comment). I thought she would respond to people speaking vietnamese but she really does not... This time when we came back home we had goodies for her and she was in a good mood.

Here is what I am really proud of her about today. The last two days I have taken her up to the rooftop and shown her the pool. Scared to death. Today we walked up there and watched a daughter and dad swim and play. Emma laughed. Mid afternoon I changed her into her bathing suit, put mine on (no one will ever see pictures of that) and we headed back up. Emma watched while I got in for about 5 minutes. No way was she getting in. Back to the room. One hour later she started pointing up and ran and put her suit on. Clinging to me for dear life we both got in. She never took her arms from around my neck or her legs from around my waist but we stayed in 15 to 20 minutes. She really liked it. Tomorrow she will probably loosen up even more.

Back to Pizza Hut for dinner where they recognize us and are so nice. Manners eating out do not exist. How would she know what to do?? Staff helped me by talking to her about staying in the booth, once again people coming to my rescue - everyone is so nice to us. Pizza Hut is on the fourth floor of a Dillard's type department store. Got her a cute kitty cat jacket and purse on the way out.

Its seven pm and Emma is out. Must have been a long day for her. She is great at night. We got here at six, played on computer for awhile, she got on the bed and started looking at her books and the next thing I know she is out.

Successful day even if she wants Uncle to take her home.......

Pictures from the zoo.......

A morning at the zoo......

Woke up today with arms folded across chest. Not a good sign. Tears all the way through breakfast where she ate nothing at all. Jumped into a cab for $2 and went to the zoo. We spent four hours at the zoo and had a pretty good time. She was kind of interested in the animals but there are little rides and games that really got her attention. Scared to death to get on any of the rides but finally I just plopped her down on a ride that is probably made for 3 year olds and under. She did okay and wanted to ride one more. That broke the ice to try a tiny car go cart which is again was probably made for younger than her but she did it - no problems at all. She was ready to get out but good strides in the right direction. She really perked up when she saw the bikes. These bikes were probably 20 years old and rusted but she wanted to go. I held the handle bars because from the pictures I have seen she is only used to training wheels and from the way she rode I am sure she would have fallen if I had let go. She loved it.. Not scared and wanted to go and go and go. I heard her tummy growling this morning when she got up - at the zoo I think she took care of that problem for awhile. She ate three bags of some kind of chips and part of a bag of cherries. She picked them all out and it is food which she is not eating alot of, so yes, it is bad food but that is the most she has eaten since she left the orphanage.

We are back in the room and she is playing in her fort with all of her toys. We have been back over an hour and so far so good. I think later we are going to try a trip shopping, maybe Pizza Hut for dinner and then back for our 8pm bedtime.

Note to animal lovers traveling to Vietnam..... um, I am desparate to find something to help Emma Duong's grief and this was a great distraction. I would rather not comment or think about the living condition of the animals in the zoo. There are shows going on and the small kids amusement park and a train that you can ride around the park if you want out with your kiddo. The grounds are well kept. $2 cab ride from the Rex....

Fingers are crossed today!

On a brighter note....

We are having tough days but so far the nights are great. Sound asleep at 8pm up around 6am. Crossing my fingers that this routine continues..... In so many ways she is a good girl. This is just so tramatic for her. Several people have told me that many children grieve like she is for a few days. We'll make it.

No words are necessary.....

G&R and crying in Ho Chi Minh........

I just adopted a 5 year old who does not like me!!!! G&R went fine. We went to a small room off the street to meet with the big officials and signed the documents that made Emma Duong mine. Everything went okay, although she still preferred everyone in the room to me. Bus trip to Ho Chi Minh was 4 hours and two ferrys. Emma Duong threw up half way to Ho Chi Minh, but she was able to communicate with me that her tummy hurt and therefore we saved a big mess. Miss C. from my adoption agency helped Emma Duong during this trip which has proved to be fatal to me right now. In the hotel lobby Emma Duong started crying and holding onto Miss C.. Made that transition okay, but after we all took a trip Pizza Hut (finally something I am used to) I got back in the room and a 45 minute crying and screaming episode started. Dick finally came in and calmed her down and she went to bed no problem. All day today we have been 2 seconds away from crying. There have been a few good moments but they don't last. Every vietnamese person I talk to says she is asking for Miss C. Took her to breakfast where she cried - we left. Took her to a late lunch where she cried (I did this after a store clerk told me she was hungry!!!) so we left. Had our doctors visit today. The doctor we saw today said she was undernourished - topping off at 29 pounds.... He said coming from an orphanage this was very common. He also asked questions like how are we getting along - boy did he get an ear full! I think he knew without asking because the other family was in the room and Emma Duong had plopped herself down with them in hopes of becoming a part of their family I am sure. Other than that shes okay.

Things that are working right. Showed her the bathroom once and that was it. She goes. Maybe I have to give her toilet paper, but we observed the children going outside at the orphanage so that she goes in the bathroom is a very good thing. It's not that alarming that the children go outside, on the way to An Giang we found out grown ups go outside too... She goes to bed great! I bring out her pjs, we change, I pull down the covers and she jumps in, no sounds, no hesitation (2 nights in a row now). She took a bath great....so many day to day things she does without a whimper or question - I think this is from orphanage living.

Oh, she is scared to death of the swimming pool. Didn't need to pack swim suits...

Wish me luck...........

Last day at the orphanage

We found out today coming home from the orphanage that our G&R is tomorrow at 9:00 am. We will pick the girls up at 8:30 and take them to the G&R. Emma Duong has asked for new clothes for tomorrow! I think that is what she is focusing on - new things that are hers and hers alone. I am sure that is how they have prepared her for this transition. I really don't think she has a clue about what is about to happen to her - how could she? She still has to be told to come to me and she stays clear of Dick completely. She does look at us alot. Today I used my camera to get her attention. She actually got pretty good with taking pictures and we were able to communicate about how to handle the camera and take the picture. So she went from fingers in the lens to okay pictures. She was also careful with the camera and it still works! The caregivers loved her taking pictures and were yelling for their pictures to be taken.

Third day in An Giang......Getting better

Today when we arrived Emma Duong came out to meet me. I am sure she was told to go to me but I was prepared with pringles, a beanie baby and candy. I know that sounds bad, but I'm just trying to connect and if it is with bribery right now so be it. Each day the kids have been the most excited over the candy, so I went to the store and stocked up. I also brought my computer which has many pictures of Emma Duong and her friends on it. They love to look at pictures of themselves. Looking at pictures warmed her up a bit and started our day off on a good note. My computer took a beating but seems to have survived. Today we were told to bring our presents. They were all left on Emma Duong's bed which was probably not the best idea. All the kids were rummaging through everything. Emma Duong loved the clothes even though they were too small for her....guess no matter what a girl's background is clothes are important. She is going to be fun to shop with. I also had the dillon staff sit down with Emma Duong and I and go through the book I made her of her family. She gets real quite and whispers when asked about the pictures in the book. She kept going back to the picture of the house and pointing. Chen would talk to her and she would nod like she understood at some level what she was being told. For every picture they will have her repeat the word in english, for instance the picture of my house they will say the vietnamese name for home and then say it in english and have her repeat it. She still has great reservations about me, but is was a better day. They push her too much with making her come to me and when we were leaving they were trying to make her hug and kiss me which is jut wrong but its hard to make them understand its okay for her to be standoffish right now.

This morning we find out if our G&R is today. We all really hope so. We have been in An Giang since Sunday and the orphanage 3 times. Its just time to move on and start working on the paperwork so that we can get home. We did find out yesterday that the passport pictures were taken yesterday by the orphanage staff. They took Emma Duong and Mya on a motorbike to get their pictures taken. I would love to have that picture. Two little girls probably having the time of their life.

Hopefully my next post will be from Ho Chi Minh..............

Internet Cafe

Got up this morning and headed to a nearby internet cafe so that I could download some pictures...enjoy. I wish I had brought my running shoes, a good run would help my spirits right now! Right across from this cafe is a little open restaraunt (they are everywhere this one just happens to be across from me while I am writing this) Hu Tieu Nam Vang. A little girl about 9 is helping her mom serve food and collect money. I've watched her dodge at least 3 motor bikes. There are 3 resident dogs who are living the life Grete would like to live - begging food from every table (usually successfully). No they are not clean, but Grete in a heartbeat would give up clean for this life!! Patty and Jill - want me to bring one back to you? I have so far counted 3 cats in Vietnam, one of which was on a leash. Why is this? Not dwelling on it. Sandy, looks like I won't be bringing Gypsy a friend. Just spotted dog number 4 riding with a mother and daughter on a motor bike... Today I am going to try bribery at the orphanage. Stopping to get candy and am taking my laptop - they love to look at their pictures on our cameras, so maybe if I have a bunch of pictures to show I might get her attention for a bit...

Road to orphanage..

This is where they drop us off and we have to walk the rest of the way to the orphanage. Its unreal the shacks we pass and the living conditions. There is always signs of life: people cleaning out their shacks, working outside, watching tv, a few dogs and cats..it is amazing. Most come to the door and look at us, I wonder what they think of us.

Having fun....

These are staged pictures I promise..

Eating candy on her bed...

Second day in An Giang....a bit tough

Today was our second trip to the orphanage and it was tough in the fact that Emma is not warming up, in fact she hid when we came in. I can only imagine what is going on inside her little mind. She's five, she's stubborn and all the caregivers are pushing her to me and telling her she has to go to this complete stranger who looks nothing like her. She spent most of the day running to everyone but me...then they would force her to go to me and she would but reluctantly. I think it would have been better to have the G&R today and just get the transfer over with. Tomorrow we go back again, because the G&R has been pushed to Wednesday. I am going to show up with candy which they all love and give her space tomorrow and ask the caretakers to not force her to do something she does not want to do. I was prepared for rough times, of course it still smarts, and I know she'll come around with time. Its going to get worse before it gets better. I'm not getting that "honeymoon" experience with Emma but she is older and needs time to work this out in her own way. One time while she was in my lap I started tickling her and she actually laughed. She does laugh alot but just not for me, so I got a glimpse of a happy girl.

On the bright side she did sing a song for me which was very cute and Thomas from Dillon has kept telling me how smart she is and that she does want to go. Her vocabulary in Vietnamese is very fluent and she can write a bit, at least I think it is writing. We took one batch of pictures of Dillon children at the orphanage and Melanie is going to take another batch tomorrow. Will download them to Jynger when we are back in Ho Chi Minh.

Before the orphanage we toured an open market. Can hardly wait until I can download pictures better. Yesterday I was leary of my hotel room, today it is 5 star! We made a purchase in the market. Oranges. The women selling the oranges probably charged us 10 times the normal selling rate and she was smiling the whole time. Oh well. If you would have seen this place you would have paid her extra too. We are headed out tonight for a Vietnamese dinner with the Dillon staff. I am totally starved right now having had a bit of fried rice for breakfast, a power bar and orange for lunch and probably 3 bottles of warm water. Their is a coke chilling in my fridge right now which I am guarding with my life and saving for tomorrow. You can buy pop here its just not remotely cold. I am admittedly a picky eater, but my brother who is not turned down food today as well. Why he thought fish soup would be good for breakfast I have no idea.

Wish me luck tomorrow.....

Pictures are not downloading

Connection is somehow not strong enough to download pictures. Could possible be Wednesday evening when I am back in Ho Chi Minh before I can add pictures. I have some cute ones!

An Giang and First Meeting......!!!!

I met Emma Duong Vojvoda this afternoon!!!! We started the day off with a four hour drive from Ho Chi Minh City to An Giang. I won't complain about our streets at home anymore... The further we went the more rural and poor the area became. We took two ferrys to get to the city where Emma is currently living. The hotel here is okay - it seems to be a popular wedding place and I can tell it is going to be a noisy night. They do have wi fi which is a bonus. Our agency told us today that the G&R date will not be Monday and at the earliest could be Wednesday. I am hoping for Wednesday.

One of the most shocking events of the day was actually getting to the orphanage. I expected to see it on the side of the road as it looks similar to many buildings in Vietman that we have driven past the last two days. No, we were let off on a side street and had to walk back on a dirt road with meager houses/shacks on each side. The orphanage is on some type of compound hidden back from society and is next to a prison.

Once we came upon the orphanage I saw Emma almost immediately. They were waiting out front and pushed the children to us saying "America" "Mom" and pointinig to who they belonged to. Like a dutiful child Emma came up to me and turned her back and leaned against me. Then we all went into the orphanage and spent the next hour and a half, playing with them, watching them have dinner, and watching them get their baths. Nobody hid or cried so I think that made a successful day. They do know routine and seem to obey with no reservations. That being said, Emma did not want to share anything I gave her - to the extent she was taking things away from the other kids. She was a little standoffish and I am sure that will last for quite some time. At first she was letting me be the keeper of all her belongings but when I made her share a toy her interest waned. They have taught her "mommy" and with coaxing she waved and said mommy when I left. Thomas from Dillon said he asked her last week if she wanted to leave and she said yes.. She also told him she was going abroad.

I'm wiped out but it was a amazing day. I'll try to blog more and send more pictures when I get some rest. We get to spend the afternoon tomorrow and Tuesdayat the Orphanage!



Kim

G&R DATE IS HERE!!!!

July 23, 2007 I will become Nguyen Thi Thuy Duong's mom!!! I have been working towards this day for a year, yet I was still in shock when I got "the call" today! The time frame is short we have to leave by the 20th of July. An Giang is in a remote area about five hours from Ho Chi Minh City. I've read other blogs where families stayed in nice hotels close to their orphanages. I have no idea where we will stay!! Tomorrow I have a phone call set up with my agency to talk through the travel arrangements. Tickets were purchased today. For future travelers, at least check out United. They have a nice adoption discount that makes the tickets reasonable - especially when you are buying a ticket 9 days from travel date. Here is a picture I received last week. I think Duong might be bringing home attitude - good for her!!!